Don't Be Mad- This Blog is Sacred

Don't be mad for what I am about to post. Just because I didn't tell you in person doesn't mean that this is casual news. But some things I just don't want to talk about. But I do want to blog about.
I had my second miscarriage last weekend. It was a long one. I won't go into the details, but I will say there are GOOD, heaven-sent nurses, and then there are nurses who aren't at their best on Friday afternoons. But I was "only" seven and a half weeks along. And really, the whole time, I just kind of new that this wouldn't go through, that I shouldn't get too excited. Of course at the same time I felt really guilty for those feelings, but I'm glad I had a warning.
When I was younger I just thought you "got married and then the babies just came." Not as easy as I once thought, but at the same time I'm glad that I have to "work for it." I was so much more ready and thankful for Marie because I really had to ask for her. And I'll be thankful for the next baby to.
I'm thankful for God's timing. Our family will move so much in our lives that planning a pregnancy can be really stressful. We will most likely move next summer (we will find out in November where) and it's hard to say when we should have the baby, but at the same time we hate delaying Marie having a buddy. I'm just so glad I could put the timing in His hands and I know the next baby will come at EXACTLY the right time and not a second sooner.
But anyways, don't be mad that you learned about it from "blog." There really aren't that many people that read this blog- I mean who REALLY read this blog, and i know who my readers are, so yes you are special. And though this blog is just a crudely complied collection of thoughts, it's really my journal/scrapbook/photoalbum so it's actually pretty sacred.


A Few Thoughts on Babies

Ever since I student-taught 9th grade Child Development I've been pretty obsessed with babies. Especially babies who aren't born yet. One day I was making my students put together a puzzle timeline of what parts of the baby are formed in what order. I was working with one student in particular, showing him what parts get formed first, and I told him the heart is beating as early as a few weeks. Then I distinctly remember the feeling that overwhelmed me; a baby with a heartbeat is special, is a human being, equal to an adult in worth.
I am so grateful for my college major. I'm grateful the Lord helped me pick it and took the most important things from it, like the worth of a child.

Ever since then I have been very pro-life. It was the most important issue to me in last years election and I hope it will always be my #1. There are many things I would like to change about the pro-life movement though. I would hope instead of bombing Planned Parenthoods, more pro-lifers would help with things like Care Net, faith based groups that embrace and help girls understand and who are supported through and after their pregnancies. Instead I feel there is this evil overshadowing the pro-life movement which makes people approach the issue with anger and hate against girls who had abortions, who in reality, didn't know what they were doing or had a second party making their decisions.

If you are interested in doing something quick and easy to support a worthy cause just remember your voice, your dollar, and your vote are all equally important.

But I don't want this post to be completely about that. I just wanted to blog about it.

Lastly I want to say I think there was a sweet spirit with me, waiting anxiously for a body, to be able to come to earth and have a family. I don't know the details of then the body gets a spirit or other such things, but I know that body inside me was-is important. And that I have a little angel I really want to meet someday.

The injustice of it all

Marie and her snot nose are sleeping peacefully. Before 7:00? It'll be a record if she stays down.

I just want to say that Rachel is chatting on the phone AND she still will not turn over the remote control to me. It's ridiculous. She's not even looking at the TV but her vampire senses still enable her to find the Twilight spotlight.

Umm...baby awake. It was worth a shot.

This Kid Makes Me Smile- also a discussion on orbs

Baby Beth looking sweet in pink

(also note: she had a fight with a fireplace mantel and lost, but she wins the "cute contest" any day)

Last (Labor Day) weekend we strapped Marie in the car and drove her a grueling 10 hours to Utah. My cousin got married. Very casual wedding, very fun. There was lots of meat involved and the cake was made up of dutch ovens. It was a great weekend to get back in touch with everyone and prove we are still alive. It would be pretty easy to fake our deaths living so far away, especially at the rate we keep up this blog. However we love any opportunity to visit the family.

Also I would like to take a moment and talk about "orbs." Orbs are usually found in pictures because of dust particles in the air (so I hear). Alot of people believe that they are spirits. I think both explanations are true. I think even though spirits are not made of physical matter, that maybe, just maybe, they have the ability to attract matter around them, like dust. Hence they are collected in nice little light "orbs." Maybe a spirit can be made up of several orbs, or just one.
I don't know, just a thought.

Well its to the point where I am bored with my own blogging. This probably means I should stop. I'm very torn on this blog thing. I feel like I need to make it into a journal. I'm not really doing anything for Marie, so this would be a good place to start something. So I almost want to apologize that I'm just gonna blog about Mommy stuff. But at the same time that's my favorite stuff, so I totally understand that it's not mind blowing. Maybe I am having blog insecurities. Is there blog therapy out there? Is there an all knowing blog spot creator to tell me that my blog is funny and super cool. Maybe I'll google that.

Idaho: Best State Ever

We love when family comes to visit.

When Grandma's around I get a break.

And somebody gets spoiled...

all week long.

But we really like going to Idaho

We love the scenic drives.

Especially when the passengers are in a good mood.



And how could she not be with all this attention?

But Idaho is just the best state. A little because of stuff like this.

But what I really love most....

is a visit with my brothers.

Call me biased but I love their music.

Help yourself to a sampling. This is "Shape of a Ghost."

Note: when they make it big, I am guessing I won't be their camera person.

A Birthday Girl Turns One!

I woke up one day and realized I have a little girl who's one year old.

~Marie, despite the fact I have not slept one night through since I was pregnant, this has been the best year of my life. Thanks for being my best little buddy. ~

But what do you do for a one year old? Do you not give them presents? Let's face it, they don't care. I could give her an empty box of wipes and that would keep her thrilled for hours (and I often do). Why bake her a cake when she's happy eating her wipes. Speaking of gross things, she just ate a bean off the floor. Gross Marie, seriously.
But the real question is, why wouldn't you celebrate this little girl?

So we had a pool party! I invited 50 people, ( i kind of got carried away at church) but luckily 20 of my favorite people showed up. I must list them now for sentimental purposes: Stefani Stelman (co-party planner and cake decorator), Allison and Sadie Nelson (Marie's best friend- yes we know she's too young, but they take great pictures together). The Miller family (our first friends in Vacaville. They have super cute kids who we also keep around for aesthetic purposes), Amber Lehman (visiting teacher/built-in friend) and kids, Ethan Miller (one of my favorite boys in my CTR 8 class, aka he has no emotional breakdowns and has not once caused me to emotionally break in the middle of church), and two new girls that I just met the day before, Katie and Amy who each brought their husband and son.

Sadie and Marie on the couch SHE picked out for her birthday. I think Marie looks kind of nervous excited to have her best friend sitting next to her on her favorite couch...

...as you can tell she LOVES this couch. She sits and talks to the princesses forever.

Marie: drunken with presents

I didn't do this party for gifts. I just really like hosting (and cake making). The invitations said "no presents please," but I understand better than anyone the temptation to buy for a one year old girl. Just ask Walmart and every cheaply priced disney princess toy in a 100 mile radius. She REALLY likes those disney princesses. I am kind of disappointed. I ask her often why she doesn't want to be culturally diverse like Dora the Explorer, why she doesn't want to work on leadership skills with the Wonder Pets, or even appreciate the complexities of spandex and techno music by learning from Yo Gabba Gabba. But at least it's not those Bratz dolls she likes.

What really helped "make the day special" was how Brett got called into work the night before at 11pm. That seems bad, but he was able to come home by 8am, sleep for 5 hours and then wake up for her pool party at 2. That all just happened spontaneously, so it was a really a blessing that I felt "inspired" to plan the party at 2pm. I'm just so darn righteous that good things happen to me like that.

I am going to pretend that we waited until she was one to give her things like cake and ice cream. Here is me pretending "AW! SO cute! She LOVES this ChoColate cake! What a SILLY girl!"

In reality she had a twizzler at four months of age and it just kind of went down hill from there.

The party lasted until 5 and wore out the babies thuroughly. Here is Sadie ready to pass out.

We had the whole pool to ourselves! On a day when it was 106 degrees outside! What a miracle. I was so scared my apartment would get mad that I invited alot of people and was serving cake around the pool, but luckily not a soul found out!

These cakes would not have been done without Brett (who babysat) and my buddy Stefani (who babysat and helped me do the green cake).
Thanks to Christen Millburn for the idea! Ok, this is the last picture of the cake, lest there be more pictures of cakes than my baby.

After the party, Brett went back to work, I dropped Marie off at Sadie's while I picked up my parents at the airport. We all came back and ate sushi while Marie played with chop sticks. My parents spoiled her and all was well with the world. What a great day!

What you've all been waiting for... Marie's stats:
Marie at one year: 16.8 lbs.

Thats it.
She weighs .4 lbs more than 3 months ago. Hmm. And she won't take pediasure, or carnation instant breakfast, let alone milk. And we stopped nursing one week before her birthday (HAAAALELUYAH!) So any advice is welcome. But she "seems" healthy. Crawling everywhere. Standing (if she doesn't think about it) and babbling up a storm. At the moment(we're in Emmett now) she is dropping macaroni and cheese all over my parents Chihuahuas and laughin' her head off. But I wouldn't mind her to gain a few pounds before the next dr. appt.

Lastly, here we are singing "happy birthday" to Marie. You can guess how well half the kids know Marie, considering they sing to a "Mia" or "Maria." But you can tell she's just trying to figure out who the heck we are singing to.

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl! We Love You!

Snails & Puppy Dog Tails

Call him Bond.... Max Bond. No, seriously, do because it's his name. And I will never ever get sick of that joke, so I'll apologize to him now. But he won't care, because he's an infant. A new baby infant born to my older brother Jesse. My brother Jesse whose birthday is July 12th. Max was born July 11th, at 11:56 pm. Who can blame him? Everybody has got to have their own birthday!

I dare say he looks like a Maxwell Bond. An intelligent child that enjoys reading large pictureless books about French history or Economic forecasts. That is when he's not on dangerous 007 missions.

It's nice to see a baby whose healthy and ready to take on the world. You may remember his sister was not so lucky. But she is doing well and ready take care of her brother.

Big Sister Beth!

This is Maresa who (I hear) is doing well. Another long pregnancy, but this time she was rewarded with a "quick" delivery. It's great to have such a strong sister-in-law. Good job on producing two adorable babies!

Welcome to the world Max!