So I dont know why alot of things happen. And usually I don't really care. I suppose I am ambivalent to most of life as long as it doesnt affect me too much. Like why does Ian have a lighter on his belt buckle? Or why do people actually like cats? Seriously, its weird.
I don't usually need answers to lifes questions and I never understood why people would get "mad at God" for not answering their prayers or fixing questionable issues in there life.
But sometimes God puts us in places or situations so we can understand how other people might feel. I suppose so we can help others in the long run.
Last week I found out my cousin has tumors in his neck and lower body. I wish everyone who reads this could know him. I'm not exaggerating when I say -he's perfect. He's about Bretts age, and he is married to the happiest/most beautiful woman I've ever met and has 3 adorable children under the age of five. The whole family has brown eyes and curly blond hair. They are always nice and fun to be around- they are
that family you look at and say -i want to be like them. His name is Jeff and he just graduated with his MBA and finally got a nice little house for his family. He's served in the Bishopric and I'm pretty sure has never even thought a bad thing in his entire life.
We are actually double cousins. Don't worry, we're not inbred. Our mothers are sisters and our dads are brothers. So we basically grew up together. He is the oldest of five kids (the second being the only girl) just like in my family. His family has always been the model for mine I think. I always copied his sister and shadowed them around. I was pretty obnoxious. But its their fault for being so cool.
Anyways, when we were little and we would get together at our regular cousin parties (I think the Parry/Millburns could relate to the cousin parties) I recall Jeff leading us in this "Bananna Dance." We would do it in front of the whole neighborhood and some people would actually stop and want to join. Usually there was only like 15 cousins (3-4 families) doing it but it felt like 100 kids running all over the place acting like... well, "bannanas."
Anyways, I just wanted to tell the world how cool he is. And I don't know why bad things- yes- like cancer even, sometimes happen to the best people. Seriously. It actually makes me not want to try to be good. I don't understand it. Its like this monster that takes the best people.
I'm sorry if I offend anyone, but I've never been through something like this. Something where agency wasn't an option. I've always fasted and prayed for people to make the right decision, even myself at times, but not for fate. So we are having another family/friend fast this weekend. And you don't have to comment whether you are or are not, but if you need to fast this month, and are stretching for a cause, fast for this family.
So I am gonna fast. I am going to pray. And no matter what the outcome I know God lives. I know there is a plan. And the best part of life is that everything I learned in Primary is true. No matter what happens, in the end all will be well as long as we love God the most, and understand that He would never want to hurt us or make us feel bad. He will be with my family, with Jeff, Kim, and their beautiful children for now and forever to comfort us and to give us miracles. I know those truths. So as long as I know that, I guess I don't need to know why alot of things happen.
