In the first year of our marriage Brett learned how much I care about birthdays. I remember it very clearly. There was a U of I football game that weekend that he was excited about it. We were all pretty busy, being each of our last year of college. We didn’t have much money so when we went to the Temple the Friday before we also went to Quizno’s for dinner. I said this could be my birthday dinner. (Said, not meant!) Anyways the next day we were, busy with this, that and the other. And I was devastated. We didn’t really do anything. My actual birthday was on a Sunday and I had expected Brett to do something nice before hand. But Sunday morning there I was- crying at the edge of my bed. Feeling forgotten and then walks in Nigel. He came in quietly and calmly. I remember his big eyes, brown and wide and listening to me. I miss those brown eyes. Anyways, I can’t recall how exactly the message was relayed to Brett, but I’m sure there were more tears (And confusion on his part because I did “SAY” I was fine- ha, poor Brett!). As amazing, happy and sweet life was that first year of marriage, I cried ALOT. In retrospect this seems like the perfect introduction for Brett to prepare to have 4 daughters.
Fast forward 11 years later. It’s my birthday, and Brett is deployed to U. A. E. He sends me a message (in the form of a Power Point) that he’s got me a ticket to Dubai! Stephanie is set up to babysit the kids even. It would end up being probably the most amazing trip of my life. (If someone could of told Rachel to hold on 11 years ago- life is going to be better than fine!)
The deployment itself has been extremely hard but really good for me as a person and a mom. I started homeschooling the kids and am learning how to do new things. The most important thing I have learned is how to say “no” more and at the same time how to be more productive. The kids themselves are more productive, leaning piano even and doing chores. Its been stressful- that’s for sure. But I am so glad I made the harder choice because I find at the end of each day I am happier and there is a more “Whole” feeling in our family. The girls get to play more, be flexible and have created a tighter bond than ever. Its amazing how they love each other, especially Marie and Mina.
Living with my family during the deployment has been the easiest, hands down best choice I have made this entire 6 months. Everyday goes by pretty quickly. With Malcolm home Mon & Tue its awesome to have an adult (who is funny) around to talk to. In the Fall Marcus would come by 3 times a week to work in his studio. He gave the girls piano lessons once a week and has helped them greatly. It was also really nice to hear him play his own medleys on the piano while the girls and I do school. He started classes at BSU this January as he is going for his second degree. We miss having him around so much. On Wednesdays we, or just Marie and Mina meet my Dad at Idaho Pizza for lunch. The girls LOVE this new tradition. I am so glad they get to spend this time with their Grandpa. How foolish it would have been to stay in Florida! My mom works so much, but when she is home she’s trying to help the girls paint, craft, or some other messy activity I don’t have the temperament for. She’s a great grandma. And also we have gone to Utah once a month and spend time with Aunt Stephanie and cousins. What an amazing addition to life for someone like me who is constantly seeking to add good family memories to her children’s mental “scrapbook.”
We have been so blessed. I am grateful for prayer. I have prayed soo much this last year. Its been harder than ever. I have also not prayed. I have had moments of hardness and anger and weeks and weeks without real scripture study. I am grateful for Gods patience when I am finally and intermittently willing to pray and put forth, what I will call, small blocks of effort. Apparently, in all his grace, He accepts those too. Even from one as needy and crazy as me.
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