Hello Sanity, thanks for popping in.

Well, I guess I am blogging again. Hmmm. Not really sure how i feel about it. I dont have pictures to post, but I suppose I owe the blog an update anyhow. I'm not feeling very "sane" these days, and probably shouldn't be blogging, but here I am. Feel free to take any of my emotional rants (should there be any) with a grain of salt. Or don't read my blog. Whatever, it's all good.

I'm at my parents house in Emmett Idaho now. I've eaten a dinner I didn't have to prepare. I can hear cartoons playing on a big screen and in living room, entertaining a certain two-year-old. And Mina sleeps.

A week ago I arrived here coming off one the the worst plane rides ever known to man kind. It was a 747 full of maybe 50 adults and over 100 children, mostly under the age of 2. I wistfully call it, "the crazy bus in the sky." Brett would laugh so hard ever time he talked about the flight, "It's going be INSANE!" he would say. Insane was an appropriate word choice, but all in all the other kids on the flight weren't too bad. Yes, my seat was kicked the ENTIRE flight across the ocean, and the flight attendants looked like they wanted to shoot themselves, but really I think it wasn't too bad. It was more a series of events with Marie that led up to her on her knees screaming bloody murder, "I WANT OFF THIS PLANE! I WANT MY DADDY! I WANT PIZZA!" over and over in sequence as people deboarded the plane. All of them valid complaints, in which Mina sympathetically cried along.

and honestly, there is so much more to write. So many completely out-of-control moments, some have to do with the earthquake, but most have to do with having a newborn after an earthquake. And I just don't think I could ever do them justice in words, so I'll have to skip them here. Maybe someday when I can laugh about them they will find a niche on the blog.


But a serious update for everyone is necessary.


I'm here in Idaho, but Brett is still in Misawa. I opted to partake of a "Voluntary Departure" out of Japan that was geared toward pregnant woman and children under 2. Officially because there are "alot of unknowns" with the nuclear crisis, and the stability of life in Japan as a whole. When I left the air base they were conserving energy strictly. This meant using one appliance at a time, only two lights on at night, and other various things that aren't really condusive to raising a newborn such as keeping the heat at 64F. I feel like a "wuss" for leaving. But I am. I feel like I abandoned Japan. There were so many opportunities to volunteer after the quake, but I couldn't do any of them. I couldnt even find the time to make no bakes for a french rescue team (yes, you can tell I am Mormon because I was asked to make no bakes after an earthquake, cute and weird). At one point I thought I could pump milk for orphaned children of Sendai and have it freezer packed and sent down there. But I can hardly, barely make enough milk for Mina, and that alone is depressing enough. Anyways, it was thoughts like those that made the decision clear that i had to get out.
Coming back... is a bit up in the air. They may send us back at the end of the month... they may wait 3 months. So in a way it's like a voluntarily sent Brett on deployment. Ugh, anyways... why am I blogging about this? It's super depressing.
So essentially I am here and I dont know for how long.

Marie is hanging in there, but she misses her dad. Grandpa stays home and takes good care of us though. And it's been fun seeing my brother Marcus alot.

 And thats all I have for now. I will leave you with what I started blogging a week after the earthquake. It's unfinished and unedited, but I gotta take care of babies, so you'll just have to get "my jist."

Peace, love, and please, no more earthquakes,

rachel.

Wow. I don't know where to start. How can I write anything and do this last week any justice?

But before I start I want to give the basic updates.

We are alive. We are ok. The girls are fine.

...hmmm.. what else really matters?

We just learned that dependents will be offered a free roundtrip ticket back to the states. So for the first time in days I can say I am pretty happy. Free trip home? I'll take it. I just wish Brett could come. But the best part is that it is NOT an EVACUATION. I heard rumors that it would be and I almost fell apart. Mina and Marie's safety is top priority, but leaving Brett behind would be feel devastating.
So good news is that in awhile the girls and I are coming back to Idaho. Don't worry, we'll squeeze Utah into somehow. If I were to guess when we are coming I would think maybe 1-2 months. Mina doesn't have a passport yet so since they are not evacuating I think it will be a while untill we get her stuff together (if it's possible, seeing as they do the paperwork in Tokyo).

...........

Well no better place to start than the beginning.  


I was sleeping. A miracle nap really. The girls both asleep at the same time. I should have known something epic was about to happen. (A week prior I gave up on naps completely).
I felt a shake. Not like before. Since I've moved here I've felt several tremors. Maybe once every 3-4 weeks. It's more a curious exciting thing. But this one was strong and mean from the get go. In the past if there was a tremor and I was in bed I would hesitate (just as I am typing now, the room starts shaking ... DANG IT STOP! I Have a two year old you are pissing off!... sorry.  ... OK it passes, so I can continue).  I would hesitate and kind of debate if I should get Marie out of bed or not. Usually I fall asleep before I can decide. But this was mean and THANKFULLY I didn't hesitate, grabbed Mina and ran to Marie's bedroom where she was sitting up confused and upset, saying, "It's shaking, it's shaking!" A phrase we now hear  from her on a regular basis.

I picked her up and ran to the door frame (later I learned it doesn't matter where you are as long as there is nothing above your head, but I think I remember my elementary teacher standing under the doorframe in gradeschool, so I think that's where that instinct came from).
It shook. But only shook. The walls didnt tear apart, the floors didnt break. Things would pop off shelves and break out of cabinets, but hardly anything would be broken in the end. I sat on the floor. Mina sleeping soundly in one arm while Marie sat on my knee, trying to burrow a niche into my shoulder at a panicked speed.  Marie was still yelling, "mommy, mommy it's shaking!" And all I could think of was to say, "oh how funny. It's like a giant is outside.... (oh wait, that sounds super scary)... I mean, it's like we are on jello! Whoa this is fun!" To this Marie repeatedly demanded, "I NO LIKE IT!" I told her I didn't either and we should tell it to go away. So we spent several moments shaking our fingers telling the walls to "STOP IT! We NO like YOU!"

(that's all I wrote on my original post so I will try to finish it up here):

Two minutes of that proceeded by large tremors every twenty minutes for a while. The power was out. My friend and her son spent the night as her husband work Civil Engineering in a 24hour shift trying to repair the base. And then two days later the power came back on and we saw the devastation of Sendai. Our favorite baseball town, two hours south of us. And even twenty minutes south,  Hachinohe, where we go to the mall and where i got my ultrasound was smashed up by the Tsunami pretty bad. The whole experience felt like being locked in a dark room and then coming out to find so many people dead. It was and still feels horrific, but in a way I am thankful I felt preserved. Preserved. No other word could describe it. Misawa Airbase now serves as the contact point for most all the incoming rescue teams, and even the citizens of the base are doing all they can to rebuild the lives of the people of Japan . 
God be with Japan.