Don't Be Mad- This Blog is Sacred

Don't be mad for what I am about to post. Just because I didn't tell you in person doesn't mean that this is casual news. But some things I just don't want to talk about. But I do want to blog about.
I had my second miscarriage last weekend. It was a long one. I won't go into the details, but I will say there are GOOD, heaven-sent nurses, and then there are nurses who aren't at their best on Friday afternoons. But I was "only" seven and a half weeks along. And really, the whole time, I just kind of new that this wouldn't go through, that I shouldn't get too excited. Of course at the same time I felt really guilty for those feelings, but I'm glad I had a warning.
When I was younger I just thought you "got married and then the babies just came." Not as easy as I once thought, but at the same time I'm glad that I have to "work for it." I was so much more ready and thankful for Marie because I really had to ask for her. And I'll be thankful for the next baby to.
I'm thankful for God's timing. Our family will move so much in our lives that planning a pregnancy can be really stressful. We will most likely move next summer (we will find out in November where) and it's hard to say when we should have the baby, but at the same time we hate delaying Marie having a buddy. I'm just so glad I could put the timing in His hands and I know the next baby will come at EXACTLY the right time and not a second sooner.
But anyways, don't be mad that you learned about it from "blog." There really aren't that many people that read this blog- I mean who REALLY read this blog, and i know who my readers are, so yes you are special. And though this blog is just a crudely complied collection of thoughts, it's really my journal/scrapbook/photoalbum so it's actually pretty sacred.


A Few Thoughts on Babies

Ever since I student-taught 9th grade Child Development I've been pretty obsessed with babies. Especially babies who aren't born yet. One day I was making my students put together a puzzle timeline of what parts of the baby are formed in what order. I was working with one student in particular, showing him what parts get formed first, and I told him the heart is beating as early as a few weeks. Then I distinctly remember the feeling that overwhelmed me; a baby with a heartbeat is special, is a human being, equal to an adult in worth.
I am so grateful for my college major. I'm grateful the Lord helped me pick it and took the most important things from it, like the worth of a child.

Ever since then I have been very pro-life. It was the most important issue to me in last years election and I hope it will always be my #1. There are many things I would like to change about the pro-life movement though. I would hope instead of bombing Planned Parenthoods, more pro-lifers would help with things like Care Net, faith based groups that embrace and help girls understand and who are supported through and after their pregnancies. Instead I feel there is this evil overshadowing the pro-life movement which makes people approach the issue with anger and hate against girls who had abortions, who in reality, didn't know what they were doing or had a second party making their decisions.

If you are interested in doing something quick and easy to support a worthy cause just remember your voice, your dollar, and your vote are all equally important.

But I don't want this post to be completely about that. I just wanted to blog about it.

Lastly I want to say I think there was a sweet spirit with me, waiting anxiously for a body, to be able to come to earth and have a family. I don't know the details of then the body gets a spirit or other such things, but I know that body inside me was-is important. And that I have a little angel I really want to meet someday.