....
I hate these types of "rant" posts.... or do I? Sorry, I just have to get this off my chest and into the minds of others. Oprah is trying to make everyone gay. Just kidding, but actually not really. Oprah has made herself the Pope to many, so today's (Wednesday March 25) episode on "Women leaving Men for other Women" is no bueno for society.
First of all, I've been boycotting Oprah for about 2 years, but sometimes- darn it all- I just catch myself watching her! Anyway, I started my boycott when I saw this show she did about this mom who, after being married for many years and having two children, just "realized" she was gay. So what did she do? Immediately divorced her husband, left her kids, and pursued a relationship with a woman. And THEN she somehow convinced her ex-husband that he was gay too. The woman was so darn proud of herself! And Oprah validated her pretended courage. I still remember her sickeningly smug smile to this day. Essentially Oprah was celebrating this woman's selfishness. And then, in the middle of it all are these two boys whose parents are divorced and they are supposed to be happy that their mom "found herself." Whatever.
The second Oprah-ism is how she had a show on how mad she was that prop 8 passed. (Ironically though, she had to cut into that segment because her house almost burned down from a wildfire and she did some quick interviews with her neighbors- act of God? Possibly...)
And third, Oprah is going to have another show on soon about all these middle aged woman who have kids, husbands, "regular suburban lives" and who just "found out" they are gay! Hurray! They get to leave their families and start new selfish lives!
Anyways my point is that who do these women think they are? Do we as a society really think the most important thing in the world is attraction? And if we follow what we are attracted to we will be completely fulfilled? Oprah seems to think so.
And just to further clarify, love is not attraction. How could you explain Brett loving me after the stretch marks Marie gave me? Seriously though, the best advice anyone every gave me is that LOVE IS A CHOICE. It's true, and it works on every level. Attraction may not be, but love is always a choice. So Oprah-women - get over yourselves!Think I'm wrong? What if we replaced the "gay moms" with men who "realized they were attracted to brunettes instead of the blonde women they married?" Can you imagine Oprah headlining this story? Or what if it was about a middle-aged family guy who realized he was supremely attracted to goats? Should he leave his family and start a goat farm? And should Oprah validate his courage?
I don't think you'll be hearing anything like that except for on Jerry Springer.
P.S. Oprah likes to "diss" Mormons. It's true. I think she might have mentioned it in her "I can't believe Prop 8 didn't pass" show. However, she did a show with reporter Lisa Ling on the FLDS compound. In it Ling said she interviewed the children about their History Class. She asked what book they were reading and they replied "The Book Of Mormon." And of course, you would have to see the clip, but the way Oprah and Lisa talked about it was as if they were reading a book called "Brain Washing 101." Anyway, I hope that made sense.
A long time ago a friend told me she heard about a talk Sherri Dew gave that referenced shows like Oprah. It implied that LDS women need to pay less heed to these type of shows. If you are familiar with this talk or know where I can find it please let me know.
So my point here is not to be annoying, but i guess to examine what main stream media 's agenda is: accepting homosexuality. But MOST importantly it's important to recognize what perspective these women are living in. I think they are thinking "happiness is NOW" no matter what stage of life you are at, or what commitments (like being devoted mother to your children) you have made. I guess it's up to us to tell them there is more than this life, and there are better things than fleeting excitement.
Let's start by letting Oprah/NBC know the flaw in their logic (that they are implying).
Go HERE or paste in these to your browser.
https://www.oprah.com/ord/plugform.jsp?plugId=215
or https://www.oprah.com/contactus
AND
http://www.nbc.com/Footer/Contact_Us/ or click HERE to become a TV panel viewer.
Feel free to wait after today's show, but on second thought, don't! Just write!
Remember- their logic is flawed. Today's show "Women Leaving Men for Other Women" is essentially reminding everyday suburban moms that lesbians are people just like them. Whether you agree with that or not you have to admit the logic of women leaving husbands and children just because they are gay does not make the divorce any less horrific for the children. Even if the children are grown and out of the home. Don't let being gay be the "free card" and allow anyone out of their commitments which affect their children's lives.
Elder Robert S. Wood of the Seventy on Upholding, Nourishing and Protecting the Family.
"For too many, responsibility seems to end with hand-wringing and exclamations of dismay. Yet talk without action accomplishes little. We need to be vigorously engaged in the world. If our schools are inadequate or destructive of moral values, we must work with fellow members of the community to bring about change. If our neighborhoods are unsafe or unhealthy, we must join with the civic-minded to devise solutions. If our cities and towns are polluted, not only with noxious gases but soul-destrying addictions to smut, we must labor to find legitimate ways to eliminate such filth... We have the responsibility to be a blessing to others, to our nations, to the world." ("On the Responsible Self, Ensign March 2002, 30-31).
11 comments:
I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who has decided their life would be better without Oprah telling her what to think. :)
I saw some of that episode today- I too was totally disgusted. I agree with you- Oprah really sucks sometimes. Btw, I love it when you get on the soapbox and blog about issues of the world- you're so passionate! I'd listen to you over Oprah any day!
Wow, what a passionate post. You're sure good at those! I watched this as well. To be perfectly honest, I look forward to turning the tv on at 4, if work allows me to be home by then, and watch Oprah. But I get so dissapointed when stupid shows like this are on.
I really respect lots of what Oprah has to say. I really do. I read the book that she was obsessed with "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle and for the most part, really liked it. I watched most of the web talk sessions that Oprah had with him and really felt enlightened. I enjoy watching these kinds of things and even more so, Dr. Oz! Go Dr. Oz! As I said, I respect and agree with lots of what she has to say. Lots of "ah-ha" moments if you will. But when I turn it on and see that she has shows like this on, or shows about why men cheat or whatever, I tend to just not watch, except for yesterday... I had nothing better to do.
I have to agree that it is very sad when people "just realize" their gay after getting married and having x number of children. Frankly, I don't buy it. Either they knew all along and tried to suppress it, or they aren't gay. If they knew all along, I am sad for them that they felt they had to hide their identity. By doing this, they have brought heartbreak not only upon themselves, but also their husband and children.
On that note, I think encouraging gay people to live straight lifestyles would lead down the same road. While attraction may not be the most important aspect of a relationship, it is definitely key. I say this because if society told me that I had to marry a woman, I don't think I could do it. I could probably build some sort of emotional connection but the whole sex thing...forget about it. I'm afraid asking gay people do be straight is like asking me to be gay. Its just not gonna work, long-term.
I rarely watch Oprah, (not because I'm afraid she will brainwash me, but because I can usually find something more interesting on) but from what I read in your post, I agree that her logic is flawed. What should the real story be? I think she should probably ask her guests questions like,
Did you always feel same sex attraction or is it only recent?
If only recently, maybe you should consider that you might just be having an identity crisis and seek counseling.
If you have always had same sex attraction, what pushed you to live the straight lifestyle?
Was it pressure and expectations from society?
What could society do differently to prevent such atrocities from happening in the future?"
Because THAT should be the real objective.
So I will have to admit that I, like Nic, watch Oprah almost every day thanks to a handy device called Tivo. I saw this episode and it did make me feel sorry for the way that society is heading and what messages are being sent.
Although Rach, I think there were a few things you said that I'm pretty sure weren't on this episode of Oprah so I'm not sure where you got them. Like what two boys? Did you mean girls?
Anyway, we discussed this a little today during visiting teaching. It is a very selfish thing to leave your husband and children to pursue something that you had maybe always wished you had or maybe because it is a thrill or a change from monotony (more likely). I agree with you that love is a choice and I believe that many people today get the wrong message from society that it's okay to do something for yourself even though it hurts people you love. There is a very fine line I think too. I think many women don't feel validated for what they do while raising a family and after many years of not having that could, unfortunately, lead them to seek other ways of getting it. I'm not making excuses or any of them, but it's not just black and white. I feel very lucky to belong to a church where we know that being a wife and mother is a divine role and one we are intended and respected for although it will be hard and not exciting much of the time. Many women don't have anyone to reinforce this in their lives.
Oh and btw Rachel who commented, the majority of these women don't say they are suddenly gay, but have suppressed it over the years. Sometimes I think that is hindsight talking, where they maybe think back after they've made the decision to try and find reasons why they decided to do it, sort of like confirmation bias, but we'll never really know.
Anyway, I could go on but then my comment would be as long as the post. haha. Thanks for your post Rach and getting us all thinking. But Oprah does have some worthwhile shows so maybe don't boycott her entirely???
I agree, Oprah is soooooo lame. I can't even believe how lame she is. It's called, put somebody else on your magazine cover you ego-maniac. One time I heard her bragging about the dessert she "invented." Yes, she said she invented it. And she immediately called her food person and told them about it. What was the dessert you ask? It was yogurt, with fruit in it. And I'm serious. She claims she invented it. I couldn't believe my years. I wish I had TiVo for that all-time most outragous moment. I was so stunned I almost turned gay and left my wife.
I can't decide if it is better to keep on suppressing your identity in this case, or to embrace it. I don't know if a "self-realized" mother is better than an unhappy, pill popping, mother who is always questioning her place in life. I am reminded of the old saying, "If Mama aint happy, aint nobody happy". Sadly, I don't think there are any truly happy endings in these stories unless there is a way to alter the core of one's being. I agree, It would be incredibly selfless for the gay mother to set aside her sexual identity to remain in the current situation. But should she still be expected to surrender sex to her husband? Is that still fair to her? I'm not sure the husband would agree to a celibate life. When you look at it this way, sex in marriage may be more important than we think and with one of them not being into it, problems are sure to arise.
Somehow I don't think these women just get bored with their husband and decide that being with another woman sounds like the ticket to get out of their current responsibilities as a wife and parent. If they wanted to leave, they could leave without running into the arms of another woman- right?
Again, I think this is an opportunity to evaluate the best course of action for the next generation. Should we continue to encourage suppression of homosexual feelings (possibly creating more guests on Oprah), or should we encourage one to embrace their identity, even if we don't agree with it?
P.S. Thanks for the clarification, Heather. Maybe I'll start watching more Oprah so I can be in the loop :)
Interesting. I see love as a choice, and along that same line of though, I believe as one loves, one can learn be attracted and learn to enjoy. Sure if every bone in this womans body is gay than there is no way she should be forced to have sex with her husband. But she was obviously not gay enough to date, fall in love, marry, and create 2 kids with said husband, so we know that is NOT the case.
I sincerely believe as she does not feed homosexual desires, and use every ounce of herselve to nurish adoration for her husband (and of course he being sympathetic and responsive to her) than the love between her and her husband could be incomparable to any relationship she would pursue with someone else (man or woman).
BTW The episode I am refering to was 2 years ago. I watched 10 minutes of Oprah (the one I posted about) and Oprah interviewed that same woman again. Turns out that woman broke up with her lesbian lover she left her husband for and was in a relationship with another man. Waaaaa WAaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Didn't work out for her after all.
Heather- it wasn't mentioned, but that woman had 2 sons.
I am so glad I wrote this post. I know Brett hates Oprah, but I was surprised when talking to my mom she said "Why's Oprah bad?"
Maybe I'm paranoid (oh wait, that's totally obvious) but I know these subtleties seep into our subconscieous and will affect important spirtual decisions we will have to make in the future. Sure, Oprah had Justin Timberlake on today! OH it was SO hard not to watch!!! But I had to watch Food Network and Ellen just anyways. I can't get sucked into her trap!
And Rachel- actually I think you and Oprah should start having brunch, because I think the last thing you said was Oprahs point on her last show. My point though, is that very very few of us are gay, so we as a society should encourage straight relationships so people can be happy and have families. Families with 1 mom and 1 dad. Yeppers, I know you don't agree so we don't have to get into that. But that's my point with writing this post- everybody do what you can to encourage traditional families. Our society is so lost!
And Nic's comment really helps me prove my point. B/C alot of Women see Oprah as a guru, or a place where they can find depth. So when Oprah starts mudding the water with her non-existant morals.. that is where the trouble starts.
I think the talk your friend referred to is "Living on the Lord's Side of the Line" by Sheri Dew, given at BYU March 21, 2000. You can find it by going to:
http://speeches.byu.edu
and searching for talks given by Sheri L Dew on the left hand margin of the website.
It's a very good talk... any talk that discusses the 2000 stripling warriors extensively is automatically a good talk. The part your friend may have remembered didn't refrence Oprah specifically, but did address media "heros".
"Satan tries to confuse us about voices and heroes and role models. He encourages us to worship the bright and beautiful -- regardless of their values or motives... If we are wise, we will follow only those who lead us closer to [Jesus Christ]. That is the litmus test for evaluating anyone's motives.
Hope that helps.
Sounds like that lady was pretty screwed up. Thats sad. I agree, she should have tried harder to stay with her husband, considering she had a connection with him that was strong enough to want to get married in the first place.
I believe in and support fidelity and commitment, and though I have no idea what it's like to lose hope for repairing a marriage which is ailing for whatever reason, I always hope people will find the strength and ability to work things through for the sake of their children or to keep their promises to each other and come out on the other side that much stronger, that much closer.
I also believe that far more marriages could be saved if BOTH parties would adjust some attitudes, stop focusing on themselves, and come together in the kind of love only humility, dedication, communication and selfless action can foster.
I also know that sometimes, despite the efforts of one or both parties, they determine divorce to be the best workable solution for the family. I can either point a finger of blame (like proclaiming their lack of faith and/or effort), analyze whether or not they did all they should have, or acknowledge that I have not spent a day in their shoes and do not know what personal details they may be choosing to keep very personal and private and accept and support my divorced friends and their children the best I know how in making the best of a clearly non-ideal situation.
I, too, bristle against Oprah and her apparently self-aggrandizing pulpit-pounding. And I think she is one voice in an increasingly hollow, shrill pop culture cry for happiness through gratification.
That said:
a) As far as I can tell, Oprah does achieve a lot of good in other ways, and I think those deserve respect, even if I don't support much of her more visible work.
b) I hope you're not implying that all homosexual relationships are little more than people seeking their own selfish lusts. I imagine you would have struggled if you'd been told it would be immoral to marry Brett (let alone kiss, hold hands with, or date him) and that to do so would be selfish because it's wrong. Now, adultery may be a different issue. :-)
c) Please, in your defense of traditional marriage and denouncement of homosexual relationships, try to avoid comparing homosexual or homoromantic attraction to a preference for hair color or to bestiality. It doesn't help your argument with most people who understand same-sex attraction to have great depth and breadth far beyond fancy and ignores the depth of mutual connection between two thinking, emotionally aware human beings.
Aside from that, such comparisons are also rather offensive, particularly the bestiality example, even if you weren't necessarily saying bestiality was akin to homosexuality but were just using the example for a logical defense. You might consider using less offensive examples to reach more than the choir.
Sorry to bust in and preach back at you, but to my credit, I held my tongue through your Prop 8 campaign. ;-)
I do support efforts to seek truth and to defend and live by principle, so kudos to you for not just passively floating along with the careless current of pop culture values.
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