Poster Children for Marriage

1 in 2 marriages ends in divorce. This statistic is not only a disheartning fact, it is a cry from the very roots of America asking for new hope. The hills weep. The mountains morn. And the brooks babble (brooks aren't likely to be much affected by stupid statistics.)
America cries out for help.

I was awoken by this fact early on last week. It was rather windy all day. The earth was sad. The earth did not say Hello (if you watched Willy Wonka, you might get that). I think Brett heard the cry of the wind also. After we had lunch with Pocahontas we decided that America needed an icon for Marriage. I said to Brett,"Let's do American Idol of Marriage. We sit at a table and tell each couple whats wrong with them."
"I think the idea is to get people excited about marriage, not to make them cry."
"I could make so many people cry." I said rubbing my greedy hands together.
"No!" Brett said as he splashed a glass of water in my face, "This isn't what this is about! And besides you've made too many people cry this week. I won't stand for it."
"You're right." I said wiping the kool aid off my cheeks. Suddenly I felt the urge to stand on the table in the middle of the commons. As the door opened across the room a flush of wind swept my hair widly into the air. Music started playing from nowhere. I looked down at Brett whose eyes shown with justice. That's right, Justice. He looked at me with the utmost sincerity and said, "we should do a Project Runway instead."
Suddenly the music stopped. You know, that sound it makes when you push the record needle off of the record. Because we've all used records to play those crazy Britney Spears hits back in the day. Or if that doesn't recall your memory, its the sound you hear when you are rockin' a turn-table.

Apparently there were rappers in the commons that day.

Anyways, I got off the table and stared at Brett.
"You know, project Runway. We could meet Heidi Klum."
"Whatever, I would so take her down."

"Point taken. Lets get just married and show everyone how its done."

"Yes, because we know everything about marriage."

"No silly," Brett said "But we sure could give it a try!"

And then we gave eachother high-fives, completed our special handshake, and we were engaged.

Uncle Jesse was so proud of us. And even though Danny was a little shaken at first, Uncle Joey told a few jokes and it was all better. Then Kimmy Gibler came over to the house and we made waffles.

The End.